Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Top 10 Reasons Why I Couldn't Host The Arsenio Hall Show

After complaining about a few things on the new Arsenio Hall Show, I imagined what if he said "if you think it's so easy come show me how it's done" and I prepared these top 10 reasons why I couldn't host the show, written in David Letterman fashion (counting down from 10):

#10 It's filmed in California and I live in Georgia. I'm somewhat afraid to fly.

#9 If I read off the teleprompter I'm sure I'll sound like a slave who's just been taught to read.

#8 I've never tried it but I'm pretty sure I suck at stand up so a monologue of jokes would be catastrophic.

#7 When the producers are communicating to me in my ear piece while the guests are speaking I'd be inclined to talk back to the producers.

#6 I hate to cut people off when they talk. We'd have to take commercial and some long winded guest would be telling the world's longest story and I'd let them.

#5 my memory works when IT wants to not when I want it to. *See #8.

#4 If I had to interview someone like Sanaa Lathan, Halle Berry or Jada Pinkett Smith I'd sweat like a pig.

#3 I drink a lot of water and always have to use the bathroom.

#2 I'm a vegetarian and more fiber equals more gas. *See #4

#1 My name isn't Arsenio Hall.

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