After complaining about a few things on the new Arsenio Hall Show, I imagined what if he said "if you think it's so easy come show me how it's done" and I prepared these top 10 reasons why I couldn't host the show, written in David Letterman fashion (counting down from 10):
#10 It's filmed in California and I live in Georgia. I'm somewhat afraid to fly.
#9 If I read off the teleprompter I'm sure I'll sound like a slave who's just been taught to read.
#8 I've never tried it but I'm pretty sure I suck at stand up so a monologue of jokes would be catastrophic.
#7 When the producers are communicating to me in my ear piece while the guests are speaking I'd be inclined to talk back to the producers.
#6 I hate to cut people off when they talk. We'd have to take commercial and some long winded guest would be telling the world's longest story and I'd let them.
#5 my memory works when IT wants to not when I want it to. *See #8.
#4 If I had to interview someone like Sanaa Lathan, Halle Berry or Jada Pinkett Smith I'd sweat like a pig.
#3 I drink a lot of water and always have to use the bathroom.
#2 I'm a vegetarian and more fiber equals more gas. *See #4
#1 My name isn't Arsenio Hall.
No comments:
Post a Comment